Blonde ThunderBall
by regertz
Summary: When a little pig-faced cockroach with nukes under his arm   rattles his sword and makes trouble, who ya gonna call?...
1. Chapter 1

"Blonde Thunder…Ball…"

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca-verse, Cicelyverse page,  
....

Disclaimer: I won't blame Joss for those comics if he doesn't blame  
me for this… All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon,  
Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire  
Slayer series...

Summary: When a little pig-faced cockroach with nukes under his arm  
rattles his sword and makes trouble, who ya gonna call?...

***  
Part I…

LA…

Offices of Angel, Burkle-Wyndham-Price, Gunn, and Walthrop…

Yesterday…Though in an alternate universe…

Slap of hand on newspaper…The blonde-haired figure across the desk  
eyed the headline struck…

"North Korea Vows Attack if Provoked…War Threat Mounts…"

"Well, Spike?…" the brunette-haired figure across the table, holding  
said paper, eyed the blonde…

"You want me to take this one?..." William eyed his senior partner…In  
age, certainly not competence, he mentally noted…

"You were requested…" Angel sighed…

"Oh?...Obama liked the job I did on that ex-Nazi possessing Palin?..."

"Actually, no…Splattering the guts of a former political opponent and  
ex-governor while under Presidential orders  
was not exactly proper form, Spike…"

"It was self-defence…And even without Bormann running the show, she  
was a threat to American democracy…You'd've done no different…"

"True enough…" Angel nodded… "And I would point out I did cover for  
you…But, this isn't a Presidential assignment…"

"Oh…So am I the Unman from UNCLE this time?..."

"The request came from a more secret organization…One we both know  
pretty well…" pause…

"Oh, crap…" Will sighed…

"Yeah…England…And not the Queen's government…"

"Giles out to get me killed for good, eh?..."

"Spike, he did send 100 Slayers to LA that day…"

"Nearly too late…Probably hoping they'd never make it…"

"Possibly, but we did make it…And we're officially recognized and  
cleared with them…And given our financial sit since the collapse of  
Wolfram-Hart, we need their support…"

"In exchange for my head on a platter, eh?..."

"You're being asked to save the world again, Spike…Officially and by  
the people who wanted you dead for quite a while…"

"North Korea isn't a threat, it's a bad joke…This is a humiliation…"

"Then it'll be easy money…And you'll have the satisfaction of taking  
them for a ride…"

"Lovely…How much…?"

"Enough…"

"Enough for you, maybe…" frown…

"Even enough for you…

"Really…Then 20,052 Slayers'll will be having to make do without meals  
in the company cafeteria for quite a few weeks…Did she sign off on  
this?..."

Angel hesitated…

"Well?..."

"She asked for you…" Buffy's voice…From the now open door to the outer  
office… "In spite of you're being the world's greatest asshole…"

"I love you, too…" he frowned at her…

***  
Buffy at 30, he thought…Looking at her surreptiously from his seat  
next to her on the plane…She with head buried in a novel or something  
she'd brought along…

Still lovely as ever but a bit more…World-weary?...Hard?...Unfeeling  
toward suffering, innocent victim ex-…

"Stop staring at me…" she hissed, pulling away from the book to look  
at him… "If you want to talk…Say so…"

"I've been briefed…" he said… "Unless you have something else to  
contribute on the mission…"

"Fine…" she glared… "Be that way…" she returned to her novel…

"How's the book?..."

"Fine…" brittle reply…

"Must be…You've worn the cover off…What is it?..."

"It's…Good…" brittle reply… "I suppose you're amazed I read…"

"I'm intrigued…" he said, archly… "Especially by it's bein' a hard  
cover…"

"Drop dead…" brittle reply…

"Been there, done that…In searing flame…"

She looked at him… "I would've…" she paused…Eyeing his bland…  
Yes?...face…

"Eh, fuck off…" she returned to her book…

"Fine…" he put pillow over his head and tried to sleep…

Hmmn…Wonder when she picked up that slight Brit accent…?

Eight hours later he opened his eyes…To find her staring at him…

Was that a tear running…?

She caught the opening eyes and brushed whatever it had been away…

Probably just the book…Another silly fool died for love and there it  
seemed romantic…No doubt some dark, brooding type…

He looked to the window…Thoughtfully closed…

"How we doin'?..." he asked…

She blinked a moment…

"How far…?"

"Hours yet…" she replied…

"Great…Couldn't the Council have teleported us?...I thought this was  
supposed to be a crisis sit…"

"They wanted to see if things might settle down…And to…" she  
hesitated…

"Give the NKs a shot at us?…Or me, at least?..."

"If they have time to hear we're on the way, it might be one more  
factor in getting them to back down…After all, most of the experts  
think the whole thing's blackmail on the large scale…That they'll back  
down if a conference is called and they have a reasonable chance of  
getting food and money from the West…"

"I see…Then why are we even here, heading there?...I mean, why am I  
here, given you seem to be Buffy the World Diplomat now?..."

"To keep me company…" she replied, blandly…

"Delightful…" he nodded, putting pillow back over his face…

She stared at him a moment, then pulled up her book…Wiping her cheek…  
Turning a page…

"The Wanton Folly of Me Mum…" she whispered to herself, grinning…  
Glance his way…

"Sorry, m-i-l…" she whispered… "You know he meant no harm…"

She glanced at the closed window…Nodding to herself…

***  
Hnnn…He turned at the tap…

"Hmmn…" he rolled over at the second, harder tap…

"Hey!..." he sat bolt upright at the hard punch to the chest…

"Sorry…We're in Tokyo…" she eyed him… "Gotta change planes…"

"Lovely…Is this the way the Council treats world-saving  
types?...Couldn't spring for non-stop, let alone first class…?"

"Just grab your bag and come on…I need to call Dawn and then we can  
get something to eat…We'll have three hours…"

Three hours?...

"What's that?...Target practice time?..."

"For them?...Probably…" she nodded… "Get your bag…"

"After you, dear…"

Tokyo Haneda Airport…

"So…How's your sushi?..." Buffy asked, not looking up from her  
book...Book perched on her plate…

"Terrible…" Will eyed his… "I've had better in LA…"

"Airports…My burger's ok…" she noted…Looking over to signal a waiter…

"Another saki, please…And my friend would like to order something  
else…"

"Burger but very rare…" Will nodded… "And I'll take a Guinness…"

He eyed her…

"That's your fourth saki…I'd take it a little easy…"

"We're not going into battle when we get there…" she replied… "I'll  
sleep it off if it catches up with me…"

"How was Dawn?..."

"Pissed…Nothing new…" she replied…

"At you or me…?"

"Both…"

"I say, Ms. Summers…Would you mind looking at me when you talk to  
me?...We restored-in-soul Brits are finicky about that sort of thing…"

She looked up at him as the waiter brought their drinks…

"Yeah?..."

"Thanks…Why would Dawn be pissed at me?...She still sorry I didn't  
stay flamed out?..."

"She oughta be…" Buffy replied… "But no…"

"And why at you…?"

"Cause I'm here, of course…"

"And as to me?..."

"Because you never gave her a chance to beg your forgiveness…" hard  
stare…

He stared…

"It's a terrible thing to have to live with…I'm sure you and Angel  
know all about it…"

"I see…" he paused… "Well, tell the silly nibs there's nothing to  
forgive…"

"Tell her yourself, asshole…"

He looked round… "Is she here?..."

Buffy frowned and sighed… "I mean…Come and tell her…"

He eyed her…

"So now you've had a proper invite…" she noted, returning to her book…  
Sipping at the sake…

"I'm not angry at Dawn…" he began…

"Just me, huh?...Big of you…"

"How long have you known…?"

"Bout?..."

"Me…" he frowned…

"What about you?..."

"Buffy…You know what the hell I mean…"

"About the trivial detail of you not being blasted forever, refusing  
to believe in me?...Ever since I betrayed the Council to get you  
back…" she said quietly… "About the other things, about a year…"

"What?..."

"What?..."

"Betrayed the Council?..." he stared at her…

"And Angel…Nearly wrecking their little scheme to bring out and  
destroy the Partners, the last major pure Demonic force on Earth…Did  
you really think that jerk Lindsay did it without help?..." she  
frowned over the book at him…

"I sold the Council…And Angel out…To save you…Though I didn't give any  
info…Just promised to not to intervene and try to save Angel from the  
corrupting influence of the Partners…I suppose in a way it actually  
helped the scheme, made Angel's move over look real…But if the  
Partners had asked...If they'd had the brains to insist I tell them,  
rather than convincing themselves their little scheme of getting Angel  
via Connor on their side was working…I would have spilled the beans to  
save you…Probably getting Giles and Angel at least, killed…Maybe some  
of my other friends…But I would've done it gladly to save you…"

He blinked…

"But don't mention it…After all I owed you…" she concluded…

"You went to the Partners…?"

"They actually knew all about Lindsay's little plan…And turned it to  
their advantage or so they thought…Of course having me in their debt  
made them quite willing to let him think he'd fooled them…"

"Does Giles…?"

"Please…He'd've had you killed…And I would've had to kill him instead…  
But fortunately I was spared that…Though I haven't forgotten or  
forgiven what he tried to do to you…And us…"

"But if you knew I was…"

"You didn't come…I couldn't go, Giles would've known I'd done  
something…He might have figured out about the  
Partners and you'd be on his list…Then Andy came back and told me…He  
thought I'd be pleased…I listened…" she paused… " And I smiled and  
shook my head at silly ole Spike's strange reluctance to come and see  
his ole girlfriend…And that night I nearly cut my wrists and then  
nearly let two vamps in succession take me…" she stared at him,  
coldly…

"But I knew by then…That it was what I deserved…" she sighed…

"Buffy…" he stared at her worn face… "If I'd…"

"You could have come…You could have got on a plane, any time and come…  
Oh, why didn't you come?...Why didn't you believe in me?..." she said…  
"And poor Dawn, when she learned the truth…When we knew…It's  
destroying her…"

"What?...Buffy…I've never blamed either of you…I knew what I was  
doing…"

"So, you heard I was with that piece of…His Benevolence…?" she spat  
out the name…

"And put yourself on a plane…You and Angel, dear ole Angelus  
reformed…" she said, coolly… "To come and save me…"

"It was ridiculous, I know…But you seemed…"

"Giles guessed when I heard, I think…He was all set to enjoy the fun  
of seeing his little plan score so well…My two Undead lovers convinced  
by his play actor Buffy…"

"It wasn't you?...With the Immortal…" he said, slowly…

"Unbelievable, right?…He had everything and more…And you know how I go  
for immortals…But maybe it was his still being human, though  
artificially preserved…If he'd been dead…But hey, she convinced you…"  
she teared up now…

"God, the Immortal…You thought I was with that …"

"Giles set it up?..."

"To protect me…"she grinned coldly, bitter smile held… "Clever,  
huh?...But not so clever as His Benevolence…Who as throughout his  
whole miserable artificially extended life has played both sides…  
Actually though, I did spend a little time with him…The Partners made  
sure of that…Thought it would sweeten the deal for me…He was glad to  
oblige, seeing as it wasn't something violent he could be held  
accountable for later on…Just a little history lesson…"

She glanced at the clock above them… "We'd best get crackin…" she  
stood or tried to stand up…He gave her an arm…Thanks, she said, taking  
it…Looking at him with a strangely intense look…

"I'll never let you go…" she said quietly… "I'll kill if I have to…The  
Council…Every friend I've made this time round…But I'll never let you  
go again…"

"Buffy…"

"Sorry…So soory…" she grinned, releasing him… "Little drunk…Lets go…"  
she hurried off, swaying a bit as she marched with speed…

He stared after her and hurried in pursuit…

En route to Seoul…

"Buffy?..."

"Yeah…?"

"Buffy, if I'd known…"

"You never believed in me…" she waved him off… "And now I know why…  
Excuse me…Oh…" She heaved, groaning…

"Sorry…" she moaned…Trying to daub him off… "Oh…" she sobbed…William  
taking towel from flight attendant whom he then glared off…

"Buffy, it's alright…"

"No, it's not…" she wept… "You know, in your heart you've always known…  
And you'll never forgive me…"

"There's nothing to forgive…You did what you had to do…And I made the  
choice…"

"No, you didn't…" she eyed him solemnly…Hic, hic…She took the towel  
and finished cleaning up…

"Not that night in 1880…You didn't…" she started weeping again…

"Now see here…" he took her chin, forcing head up to face him… "Who  
are you and what have you done with Buffy Summers…"

Faint smile at his grin…He blinked at her…

"1880?..."

"Oh…" she burst the dam again…

"I didn't mean to tell you like this…" she put her head in his lap and  
sobbed…

Hmmn…The new Buffy Anne…Empathic and emotive…He thought…

Or maybe it's just the sake?...She pulled head up, looking at him…

"Well?..." he asked…

"Not here…" she said…And sat back…

"But…"

"Sorry about the waterworks…It's been building a long time…" she said  
quietly… "And I overdid the sake…"

"Buffy…"

"Later, in Seoul…" she looked at him…Put her head close and indicating  
he should put his ear to her lips..

"Cicely…" she whispered… "Call me Cicely…" she pull away…

He stared…What…?

"Here, you can read it now…" she handed him the book… "It's yours  
anyway…"

He stared at the worn old hardcover now in his hands…Minus both covers  
but with a good spine…

"Mind the pages…I don't want any lost…" she noted, laying head back…  
"And ask the attendant for some aspirin when she comes, please?..."

" 'The Collected Works of William Soames Walthrop'…" he read to  
himself from the spine…Turning the book in his hands…

"Uh, some aspirin for the lady, please…" he asked the returning  
attendant who took the towel back with grim expression…

" 'To my husband…From Cicely who loves you always…'" he read a  
dedication on the second page…

He stared yet again at Buffy, now laying with eyes closed…

As he moved closer she let out a snore…

"Right…" he sat back…

Come to think of it now…She does snore just like Cicely…Never noticed  
before…

***  
Seoul…Midafternoon…

Where a grim-looking team of men and women in trench coats had quickly  
hustled them off from the airport arrivals area to a waiting car and  
with only the grunt of "Walthrop?...Summers?"…had brought them to a  
small hotel in a quiet suburb…

"We'll be back in five hours…" one of the women-in-black finally spoke  
up…He eyed her…Late 20's, Korean Asian, if he judged correctly, with  
perfect English…

And Slayer, no doubt…

"Council or…?"

"Both…" she replied… "Get her to bed…" she indicated the rather wobbly  
Buffy clinging to his shoulder…

The group bowed slightly, in unison, and left…

"South Korean Intel and Council…" he noted to Buffy's look… "And the  
Slayer in the group's right…Bedtime for  
Buf…" he looked at her, smiled…

"For Ciczo…"

She smiled back…

"So long as we're not talking possession here…?" questioning tone… "  
'Cause while I'd appreciate it…I couldn't allow it…"

"Not possession…" she shook head… "Will you come?..."

"If you like…But it might be best if I kept watch…"

She sighed… "Those guys are doin' that…Take a look…"

"Can't…" he noted… "Midafternoon…"

"Well, they are…Take my word for it…"

"I'll do that, then…"

"Good…Cause I've been dreamin' of…" she struggled to keep head up…

"Right…Well, let me make like Rhett Butler then…" he lifted her off  
the floor in his arms…

Hmmn…Don't remember Rhett carrying Scarlett off like a sack of  
potatoes…But…

She snored in his arms…Rather loudly…

"I see I'm going to have to work for this…" he noted to her… Carrying  
her into the bedroom carefully…

Ooops…

"Greetings…From Our Great Leader…" the young woman, the same Slayer  
who'd left him five minutes ago, addressed him solemnly… "Don't force  
me to stake you, Mr. Walthrop…" Two other young women beside her…

Both Slayers he noted…

Though looking a hair off-stride as they regarded him blankly, but  
with total attention…

"So…You infiltrated South Korean Intelligence?..." William asked the  
young woman sitting across from him in their non-descript van…

"No…" she said, quietly…Her face having now the same rather blank look  
of her comrades… "I was an agent…"

"But…?"

"I'm not to answer more questions, sir…Please keep calm and restrained  
until we pass the border…His  
Greatness will answer all your questions…"

"And if I don't keep 'calm and restrained'…?"

"I will do my best to stake you…And Ms. Summers there will suffer…"

"Right…Hey?..." he turned, trying to rise as one of the other women,  
holding the sleeping Buffy, gave her an injection…

"That's the second one…What is that stuff?...If she's harmed…"

"Just to keep her weakened and sleeping, sir…" the young Slayer noted…  
"It won't kill her…"

"Forgive me if I don't take your word for it…If you do that again I  
will make trouble…"

"More shouldn't be necessary, sir…"

"Aren't your friends from SKI going to pursue us?...How did you get us  
out from that group anyway?..."

"I assigned the agents to their posts, away from the rear door where  
we brought our car…My rank is quite high so no one doubted me, thanks  
to our Great Leader's skills…"

"You're not doing this voluntarily, eh?..." he eyed her… "What's he  
done to you?..."

"Made me appreciate his Greatness, sir…I mustn't answer more  
questions, forgive me…"

"You're a Slayer, love…Shake it off…" he eyed her…

She eyed him blankly…

"Well, give it a try…Tell me your name…"

Blank stare…

"Right, then…Keep tryin' love…Might I have my book back at least,  
seein' as this is likely to be a rather dull journey?..."

She turned and pulled the old book from her purse….Handing it to him  
without a word…

"Much obliged…Could I sit with…?"

"No…" she replied…Staring…

"Interesting technique…You seemed pretty functional before…Is it  
magics-based or what?..."

No answer but a blank stare…

"Right…" he sighed, pulling up the book…

After about four hours by his watch, the van had halted…He presumed at  
a border checkpoint…For nearly 30 minutes…One of the Slayers, who'd  
left the van immediately on its stopping returned and spoke a few  
words in Korean to the young woman who'd captured them…She nodded, the  
other staring now at Spike…The presumed leader turned to speak to the  
Slayer beside the sleeping Buffy…Who nodded and unhandcuffed Buffy,  
lifting her carefully…

"Don't hurt her…" William rose as much as he could…

"Wait…" the leader cautioned him… "We'll bring you out in a moment…We  
must hurry now…"

"The border?..." he asked…She ignored him, moving to let the other  
women carry Buffy out through the van's side door…

"Come…" she moved to him, unlocking his cuffs from the grill on the  
van's side wall… "If you try to fight me, Ms. Summers will likely be  
killed…"

"All right…" he nodded, rising… "I'll be good for the moment…"

"Thank you…" she nodded, stepping back out of the open side door…  
Waving for him to follow…

Dusk now, the sun had set just a little while before…He stepped out…

Cuffs easy enough to break, but a drugged Summers closely covered by  
her two Slayer guards…

Even if they seemed a tad off-stride more than a match for him just  
now…

He looked to see a good-sized helicopter…The Slayer leader indicated  
he move toward it, motioning for her comrades to carry Buffy to it as  
well…

"Isn't your air command here on high alert?...Likely we'll be shot  
down…" he noted…

"My clearance should get us through…" the woman replied…

"Handy…" he nodded… "The Great Leader chose well with you, love…How'd  
he get you anyway?..."

"All questions will be answered by His Greatness…" she replied…  
"Please get inside, sir…"

Helipad, secret fortress estate of the Great Leader…Night…

"This way…" the young Slayer indicated for William to follow her…  
Buffy still sleeping, carried by a Slayer…He reluctantly following  
from the helipad to a large doorway flanked by heavily armed…Crossbow  
as well as machine gun…Guards…

The Slayer leader brought them to a small room…The one carrying Buffy  
laid her on a bed and locked her handcuffed wrists to a bedpost…

"Any chance of…" the door slammed in Will's face as he frowned…

Not exactly a courteous reception by His Greatness…He turned and went  
over to the bed…

"Buffy…" he shook her… "Wakey-wakey…"

She snored at him…

Hmmn…He tried again…More violently…

"Slayer?...I've lost my soul again and I'm about to kill Dawn…"

Hmmn…Nothing…

Loud snore…Oh, well…

"Cicely?..." he tried… "Why did you abandon me?..."

One eye popped…Then the other… "What?..."

Well…

"We've been captured, girl…We're in the North…You've been drugged…Are  
you ok?..."

She struggled to sit up…He giving support…

Rather pleased not to be lectured on the Great Leader's Greatness…  
Apparently it took more than a shot in the arm and a little  
telepathy?...

She looked round, blinking…Eyes resting on him…

"Did you tell me I…?" she began…Hesitantly…

"You were dreamin'…"

"No I wasn't…" narrow look… "I recognize the walls…You said I  
abandoned you…"

"I asked…To get a rise out of you…Why Cicely abandoned me…"

She eyed him…

"My ole…"

"I know…" she frowned… "And you know…"

"No, I don't…And I'd appreciate being enlightened…The last time I saw  
Ms. Addams she was…Well, Halfreck…"

"That was not me!..." Buffy sat bolt upright… "That was a lie!" she  
tried to rise but couldn't quite manage it…

"Calm down…What the hell do you mean, it wasn't you?...Tell me what  
you're talking about…?"

"And it's Mrs. Walthrop…As you damned well know…"

He eyed her… "Nobody knew about that…I'm reconsidering the possession  
thing…"

"Reincarnation, not possession, idiot…" she sighed… "My mouth is full  
of sawdust or something, can you get me a glass of wather?..."

"If there's a bathroom…This is North Korea, you know…" he went in  
search… "Ah, we must be staying at the presidential suite…A bathroom  
with what seems to be running water…Hang on…"

Knock at door…He emerged from the bathroom and handed Buffy a filled  
glass which she took and drank from gratefully as he went to the door…

Another knock… "Mr. Walthrop?...Ms. Summers?...May we come in?..."

"Are the cameras and microphones actin' up?..." William called back…

"Oh, they're just fine, sir…But we have an invitation to deliver…"

He eyed Buffy who shrugged…May as well open it before they break it  
down…He went to the door…And opened…

"Greetings…" a youngish man in uniform called from behind a group  
consisting of the Slayers who'd captured them and several heavily  
armed guards… "I'm Kim Jong-un…My father sends his best and a personal  
welcome to you, our distinguished visitors…"

The Slayers, including the leader of their capture team stared at him  
blankly…The soldiers a bit less so…

"Thanks…" Will nodded… "So you're the young prince, eh?...Your dad's  
gone to some trouble, we appreciate it…"

"Not at all…" friendly smile… "With two of your reputation one must  
make an effort…My father, our Great Leader, would like me to invite  
you to meet with him to discuss the current situation…"

"We're not exactly accredited diplomats…" Will noted… "We'll see him…"  
Buffy called…

"As she says…" he shrugged…

"Excellent…Of course we're aware you've had a long journey…So please,  
get some rest…He will be here by morning and we can all meet for  
breakfast…" Kim Jong-un noted pleasantly… "If you'd like something for  
dinner?...Or, given your special needs, Mr. Walthrop…?"

"Bag of cow's blood and a scotch-and-soda would be appreciated…  
Buffy?..." Will turned to her…

"I'm fine, thanks…"

"I'll have the ladies see to it…Good night…"

The Slayer leader closed the door…

Hmmn…Will sensed the Slayers remaining by the door, most of the humans  
pulling back…Sensible deployment, he noted to Buffy…

"You think we should try in a bit?..." she asked…

"Only if you're up to it…Otherwise, may as well accept the young  
Divinity's gracious hospitality and kill him and his porcine, pointy-  
haired dad in the am after you've slept off his drugs…"

She sighed, nodding… "I'm feeling pretty woozy still…"

"But not ready to fall to your knees in adoration of His Greatness…?"

"Not quite…" she shook her head…

"The lad seems pleasant enough…Do you suppose they might really want  
to deal?...This was pretty much supposed a blackmail operation…"

"They could've just asked for us…Contacted the ambassador or something…  
Besides, they've got Slayers under their thumb...Drugged you  
think?...Or magicked?..." she looked at him…

"Some kind of brainwashing, that's certain…Their auras are depressed  
and they seem to lose it when not under orders…"

"I suppose I'm expected to join the harem…" she frowned…

"Likely…But not without a fight…Did you recognize the ladies?..."

"Not from what I saw of them, no…But I was pretty drunk…And dopey…"  
she smiled wanly…

A knock…He went over...And opening found the lead Slayer holding a  
tray which she handed him…

"Thanks, love…And keep tryin'…" he smiled at her, closing the door  
with a carefully freed hand, one hand on the tray…

"Never hurts to encourage the effort…" he noted to Buffy, bringing the  
tray on which a bag of blood sat next to a scotch-and-soda in large  
whiskey glass… "I'm sure she's fighting it, whatever it is…"

"At least she's not voluntary…" Buffy sighed…Not looking at him…

"About what we were discussing…" he began…

"I'm not possessed…Or crazy…" she replied… "But I am your wife, Cicely  
Addams Walthrop…I always was…  
And you knew that, even if not consciously…From the day we met in  
Sunnydale…Maybe even before that…"

He nodded… "Would explain a few things…"

"Like my abandoning you again at Sunnydale…?" she asked... "I know I  
have a talent for that…"

"What do you remember?…Assuming for the moment, this isn't a trick of  
some sort…"

"Nearly everything, now…Thanks to His Benevolence…But wise of you to  
be cautious…Considering the way we keep finding new ways to make you  
suffer…"

"What was that about Dawn?..." he looked at her… "You said…"

"Your daughter can't bear that her father won't let her beg his  
forgiveness…Is that so surprising…?"

He sat down, staring…

"My…"

"Born November 1880, died the same day…Though I can't yet recall the  
exact date…Actually she was still…" she looked at him…

"I'm sorry…William…" she stared at his tear-streaked face… "I didn't  
think you'd believe it so quickly…Oh, Will…God…" she struggled to her  
feet…He rose and went to her, helping her back to the bed…

"She tried not to believe it but the minute she heard me tell the  
story…She knew…" Buffy whispered, burying her face in his chest…

He pulled away from her…Eyeing her… "You sent her…In your place…That  
bloody night…"

"I stayed upstairs…" she nodded… "William, they told me you were  
doomed…If I didn't give you up…Drusilla would find you…And the Council  
wouldn't help me protect you…"

"And Halfreck…She was the one…Who told me…"

"I was tryin' to save you, Will…I couldn't get Dru…She was coming for  
you…And they lied to me…" she said, voice turning bitter… "They  
tricked me…They wanted you dead…And me their Slayer…Oh, God…"

"The Council…" he said, quietly…

"They weren't about to let me off and do my own thing…Even after I'd  
tole them I'd still do my job…They wouldn't allow me to have my own  
life…Will, I did everything to try and find you after it was over…I  
stole everything from the Council or magics types I thought could be  
of use…I never stopped looking for Spike…And if I couldn't get you  
back…" she eyed him…

"Then, I got sick with the baby…And they decided I was too much  
trouble to let live…" she continued in a weary voice… "So they  
arranged my death and our baby's…There's always another Slayer, after  
all…"

"The Council murdered you…And our child…?" he asked, quietly…

"Poison…From my own dear Watcher…"

"And Giles knew, didn't he…?" he asked…

"He knew…The story was told to any Watcher whose charge seemed to  
harbor the right aura…Maybe not all the details…But enough to know he  
was to keep you and me apart if we got too close…"

"Well…" he nodded… "Sorry to hear his motive in trying to kill me  
wasn't all for his little Slayer…"

"When I started having visions, after Sunnydale…And His Benevolence  
contacted me, for the Partners…Who figured, if I knew the truth…" she  
paused…

"Right…" he nodded…

"But…It's not all their fault…" she noted… "I…"

"You never told me…Warned me…" he said…Nodding… "You put me and our  
little girl in jeopardy…Left me this…" he indicated himself… "And my  
daughter reborn as an energy key for a crazed goddess…"

"I wanted you…I wanted a life…" she sighed… "I know I'm guilty as the  
Council or my Watcher…"

"Well, thank goodness I didn't wait around for you to save me…" he  
noted calmly…

"Yeah…" she nodded…

"How is my daughter, apart from the crushing guilt she doesn't  
deserve…?"

"She's at the University of Milan…Doing pretty well, majorin' in art  
design…"

"Great…"

"She'd love to see you…" wistful tone…

"A killer vampire for a father?...I don't think so…"

"A hero for a father…"

"Hardly…" he sighed…

"Your daughter needs her father…" Buffy said firmly… "Hate me forever  
if you want…But she needs you,  
William…"

He sighed again… "Here now, girl…Are you tryin' to back out of this  
marriage?..." careful look…

"Never…And I'll never grant you a divorce…I'll threaten every judge  
you try…" she said…Wan smile…

"Then I guess…We're saddled with each other…"

"I guess so…" she nodded…"I brought pictures…Ones from when Dawn was  
little…" hopeful tone…

"Lets see em…"

"Blonde Thunder…Ball…"

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca-verse, Cicelyverse page,  
....

Disclaimer: I won't blame Joss for those comics if he doesn't blame  
me for this… All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon,  
Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire  
Slayer series...

Summary: When a little pig-faced cockroach with nukes under his arm  
rattles his sword and makes trouble, who ya gonna call?...

***  
Part II…

A polite rapping summoned them to breakfast…After a quick shower in  
the rather small bathroom…They emerged to find their Slayer and human  
soldiers awaiting them just outside…

"I hope you girls got some sleep last night…"Will eyed the Slayers…

"Please come, His Greatness is waiting…" the lead Slayer, her clothes  
now looking a bit rumpled, urged…

"Fine, but tell His Greatness when you can that his guests would take  
it as a curtesy if he allowed his slaves a little rest…" Will  
suggested…

"Yes, sir…" the Slayer nodded…

"Nice to know you'll be lookin' out for me when I join the team…"  
Buffy noted with smile…

"Mrs. W…Lets remember you may be a Walthrop…I'll expect better from  
you…" he frowned…

"Yes, your Greaterness…" she grinned…Then frowned…

May be…?

"Hey…" by a huge ground to ceiling window with magnificient view of  
mountains, a chubby, just over middle-aged fellow in beige jump suit,  
flanked by guards…Kim Jong-un to his left in military uniform…Greeted  
them…

"Welcome to my secret estate far from Pyongyang…" a smiling Kim Jong  
Il greeted his "guests".

"You've met little kim, small k…My heir…Apparently…" Kim frowned at  
the apparent heir…

Little kim, small k, sighing…Dad…

"So, the world-famous vampire killer, Buffy Summers…And her  
significant other…Vampire vampire killer, William Walthrop…"

"Say hi quick, little kim, small k…Cause they probably gotta die soon…  
Assuming our negotiations fail…"

"Hey…" little kim, small k…nodded…

"Another mistake…Moron…" Kim frowned… "You're the Great-Leader-in-  
Waiting…You don't say 'hi' or 'hey' to your prisoners-in-waiting-to-  
die…You sneer at the 'little nothings' and look away…How many times do  
I gotta tell you…" shakes head…

"Kids…" he sighed to Buffy… "I understand, confirmed by our  
surveillance, you two are parents too?..."

"Toughest job in the world…" he noted, not waiting for her reply...  
"But at least yours is a potential source of limitless power…Whereas…"  
he frowned at little kim…Who tried looking at the wall…

"But ya got love 'em…Within well-defined limits…Oh well, what the  
hell, shall we get to breakfast?...I know I'm starved…And we got a  
busy day ahead…The last day…For a lot of us…" Kim smiled…

"More pancakes…?" Kim asked round…

"I love pancakes…When they're done just right…Had to have my chef  
trained in an IHOP…Got her from Paris but they don't know shit about  
making good pancakes there…Just how to make crepes…I hate crepes…  
Buffy?...More pancakes?..."

"I'm fine…"

"Right…Got keep that figure…Though I understand Slayers don't gotta  
worry much that way…Which is neat…I like seeing a pretty girl enjoy  
her food…Terrible the way American girls starve themselves these days…  
Hey, Walthrop, you're a Brit from the last century or two…You agree  
with me about the US girls?..."

"Depends…" Will replied… "But we were more likely to exercise all day  
in those days…"

"True enough…" Kim nodded… "Hey, hon…More coffee, please…" he eyed the  
passing Slayer, the team leader of the previous evening, now in fresh  
and elegant dress…She paused to pour from her carried pot for him…

"So…" Kim stretched a bit… "I suppose you'd like to know why we went  
to all this trouble, bringin' you in…?"

"Thought had crossed…" Will nodded… "May I ask if we're to act as  
diplomats for negotiation?...And if so, might we have access to our  
people for instructions?..."

"Mmmn…" Kim wiggled his raised hand a bit… "Not exactly diplomatic  
reps…More…Hostages, I'd say…Or did in my transmission to your guys in  
England…"

"Us?..." Will gave a wry smile…

"You know they basically gave the same response…You oughta get tough  
with them, they're treatin' you two like coolies…You're world-savers  
and they act like you're not worth their time…"

"Nice to know the Council holds us in such high esteem…" Will nodded…

"About what I'd expected…" Buffy frowned…

"Shockin' I call it…" Kim shook his head…

"Yeah…" little kim agreed…Kim eyeing him…Somebody talking to you?...

"So maybe you'd consider the option of throwin' your lot in with me…?"  
he returned to the Walthrops…

"We could say, 'sure'…" Buffy noted… "But you'd know we were lyin'…"

"I suppose…Had to make the offer, ya know?..."

"Only to be expected…" Will nodded… "And it's appreciated…"

"So we're not negotiating?..." Buffy asked…

"Mmmmn…I could lie and say 'yes'…" Kim noted… "But we're all adults  
here, right?...Though I am stringin' your Western bosses along with  
that as an option for now…"

"Uh-huh…So?..." Will eyed him…"If we not here to negotiate…And we've  
no real value as hostages…"

"I didn't mean to put it that way…" Kim replied hastily…Earnest look…  
Matched by little kim…

"You're very valuable…Just that it doesn't really matter whether  
you're existing or no…"

"Ah…" Will nodded…

"And of course, you are my only foreign witnesses…"

"Oh?...Of…?"

"My presentation…"

"Presentation?..." Buffy asked…

"Dad's been planning this for weeks…The…um…Presentation, I mean…"  
little kim noted eagerly…

"The Plot of course has been years in the making…"

"Thanks, little kim, small k…I can take it from here…" Kim frowned…

"And the Plot has been decades in the making…" Kim grinned…

"That's a shame…" Will noted…

Additional guards with guns and crossbows entered the room, taking up  
positions by the Great Leader…

"Now…" Kim wagged a finger… "Ladies…" he turned to the three Slayers  
now in the room, the leader and two assistants from the night before,  
waving the leader in to whisper to her, she nodding… "Escort Mr.  
Walthrop and Ms. Summers to the Presentation Room…"

"Mrs. Walthrop…" Buffy insisted…

"Thousand apologies…Mrs. Walthrop…" Kim nodded…

"Come…" the lead Slayer urged Buffy…Pulling her up carefully…Buffy  
grimacing and pulling free…

Kim put up a hand… "No need, hon…Mrs. Walthrop will come on her own…"

"Sir…" another of the three politely addressed Will…She now flanked by  
crossbow-bearers…He rose reluctantly…

"We'll join you in just a mo…" Kim nodded cherrily… "Little kim, come  
on…" he rose from his chair, a rushing team of servants gathering  
round him… "Just a few administrative chores for the day's big one…See  
they're made comfortable in the Presentation Room…" he told the lead  
Slayer…

"Whatdaya think?..." Buffy hissed as they were politely but firmly led  
out of the breakfast hall…

"I think we get to sit through the usual supervillian's rant…" Will  
sighed…

"We can take three Slayers…And a few humans…" she suggested…

"Not in your condition, Mrs. Walthrop…" the lead Slayer cut in… "His  
Greatness wanted me to be sure to remind you the drug we gave you  
yesterday lasts a few days…He didn't want us to have to kill you…"

"We oughta hear fat boy out anyway, love…" Will noted… "He's sure to  
give it all away…He's the type…"

"Please come along…" the lead Slayer urged, nodding to a human guard  
who prodded Will with his crossbow…

"Hey!..." Buffy grabbed at the bow…Frustrated at her slowness…

"Mrs. Walthrop…" the lead Slayer frowned… "I don't want to have to  
displease His Greatness…"

"Lord, we wouldn't want that…" William sighed… "C'mon, love…Lets give  
Fatfinger his moment…"

"You're not one I trained, are you?…" Buffy eyed the lead Slayer who  
shook head…

"Good…I would've hoped mine'ld do a better job…"

"She's just nervous for me…"Will cut in… "No offense, sweetheart…We  
know you can't help it…"

"Thank you, sir…Lets go, please…"

Buffy frowning…What, now you're speakin' for me?...

"What?..." he looked at her frown…Which turned to a smile…

"So, you believe me, don't you?...You Victorian jackass of a  
domineering husband…?" she grinned…

Gigantic auditorium of the Great Leader's hidden fortress estate…

Buffy and Will lost in the vast space, seated in the middle of the  
middle row, Slayer and human guards about them…

Buzz of microphone…Shrieking metallic clang…

Kim and little kim, small k, visible now moving about a glassed-in  
room above them…Kim on microphone…

"Sorry there, damned A/V dates from the 70s…Anyhow, welcome to the  
Great Presentation Hall of the People…  
Where you, our honored guests, will bear witness to the greatest event  
in human history since that asteroid hit and cleared the way for the  
mammals…" Kim, proudly…

Buzz…Tap, tap… "Sorry…Little kim?..."

Little kim rushing about the room throwing switches till the buzzing  
eased…

"Ok, then…Please observe the window to your right, folks…"

Halves of the wall on the right parted slowly…Revealing beyond and  
below them a vast complex…Full of scurrying technicians and equipment…  
Vehicles racing about on tracks bearing equipment, personnel, and what  
looked rather like giant fuel tanks…Giving off white vapor like the  
liquid oxygen and hydrogen tanks of NASA rockets…

"And to your left…" Kim's voice…

Metallic blare… "Little kim!..."

"Sorry, dad…" little kim's voice clear… "I hit the amplifier with my  
foot…"

"Moron…" exasperated tone… "Never admit fault in public…Blame some  
nobody and have him shot…How many times do I have to tell you,  
kid?..."

To the left, projected in four screens on the wall, similar shots of  
vast complexes…

"Ok, well…Our launch sites, at five different locations…" Kim noted…  
"Where's my laser pointer?..."

"Here, dad…" little kim's voice…

"See here…" the light of Kim's laser touched the four sites… "Ten long-  
range at five different hidden sites…I got 50 nukes on ICBMs all  
primed and ready…And none of that keys and codes nonsense…I just press  
the button and varoom!..."

"Oooh…50 nukes…" Will sneered, calling to the glassed control room…  
"And missiles that might just…Just…

Reach Sarah Palinland…But probably couldn't make it to Tokyo…"

"Hey, asshole…" little kim's voice, annoyed… "It all depends on where  
you fire them at…"  
"little kim, small k…?" Kim's voice, more annoyed… "This is my  
supervillain's rant…"

"Uh…Sorry, Dad…"

"…It all depends on where you fire them at, asshole…" Kim continued…  
"And what's with the crack about Tokyo?...An Asian capital ain't worth  
your time?...You Brit racist…"

"Will didn't mean it that way…" Buffy cut in…

"I bet…" Kim's sneering voice… "Goddamn Brit imperialists…Well, anyway…  
Like I say…It's all in where you fire them at…In this case being the  
upper stratosphere…"

"What?..." William blinked at the room… "What's up there?..."

"Nothing but the ozone layer…" Kim, amused tone… "But once my nukes go  
off there…A chain reaction…The sky aflame…Irradiated superozone…Global  
superwarming…Getting the picture?..."

"Ok…You prove Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are idiots…Something Fox  
News does every evening…"

"The Earth becomes uninhabitable, you undead dolt…" Kim, annoyed…

"Hmmn…Ok…And this is a what?...Stalement, everyone dead, that's a good  
scenario for you, how?..."

"Not if we're safely underground, in a gigantic supershelter…" Kim  
pressed a button on his control panel…A final giant TV screen above  
them blinked on…

Cathrode-ray…Will noted to Buffy…Guy hasn't even got LCD yet…

"I heard that…" Kim's voice, exasperated… "And I've got plasma at home…  
Just tryin' to be a responsible Great Leader and not waste the  
People's dough here…"

"Dad's very thoughtful toward the People…" little kim's voice noted…

"Yeah…Right…" Buffy glared…

"Look…" Kim's laser dot pointed at the vast chamber on screen… "Twenty-  
five years in the making…Enough room for ten million people…Hydroponic  
farms, underground factories, we'll sit pretty for a thousand or so  
years  
while you all bake…Then we come out…And the Earth is one Great  
Leader's paradise…"

"And ecologically restored…" little kim added…

"I may be covered in blood, but I'm Green to the core…" Kim agreed…

"And since it'll be my People under my little kim's rule who write the  
histories, I'll be the greatest Great Leader in history…"

Hmmn…Little kim rolled eyes while out of eyeshot…

Don't hold yer breath, dad…

"And since it'll kill the Undead above ground as well…Estimated  
projections, little kim?…" Kim eyed him…

Little kim sighed and turned on a computer screen…Whirrrrr…

Two minutes passed in silence…

"We're waiting…" Kim noted…Annoyed tone…

"It's only a 128K machine…" little kim sighed…

"I tole you to get a new computer from the Chinese and dump this piece  
of crap…" Kim glared…

"Dad…They kept the US sanctions too…Ah, there we are…" little kim  
began working the console…

"Well…" Kim shrugged… "As you see…We do more with less…"

"Estimated Undead kills, 98%..." little kim noted…

"So…I not only free the world from imperialism, capitalism, and  
ecologic devastation by the wealthy powers…I destroy most of Demonism…  
I am the Greatest…" Kim, thumbs-up from the glass window…

"Little more impressed with me, now, Mr. British vamp guy…?" sneering  
voice…

"Goldfinger's was better…" Will shrugged… "Though I guess you beat  
some of Blofeld's, Dr. No, and that Eddie Munster guy, Drax's plans…"

Narrow look from Kim…

"I won't have to conquer Moscow…Or Washington…I'll just drive over the  
corpses…" his voice fumed… "And two of 'em will be yours…"

"We'll see…" Will eyed the control room… "But what's holding you back…  
Missing a ball or two?..."

"Nice talk in front of a lady…" Kim, indignant tone… "But it just so  
happens we've been waiting for the right atmospheric conditions…Just  
had to get a few million more Chinese drivers on the road…And now…  
We're just  
about ready…Tonight in fact…Operation Ball of Thunder commences…"

"At 11:34 and 30 seconds pm…" little Kim noted…

Backing away at Dad's glaring eye roll…

" 'Ball of Thunder'?...You mean Thunderball?..." Will sighed… "A  
Spectre scheme retread?..."

"No, I mean 'Ball of Thunder', that's how it's gonna sound around the  
world…" Kim replied… "And 'Thunderball'  
wasn't about global warming…I've seen the movie too, you know…"

"Still, it doesn't have to end this way…For you…" Kim's voice resumed  
a cheery tone… "I could see my way to providing a very nice honeyroom  
cottage underground for the two of you if you'd consider serving  
Humanity post  
Kimpocalyse…"

"Anyone ever tell you you're a bug-faced little turd?..." Will called…

"Yes…" Kim, amused… "Lived to tell about it?...No…But I was only being  
the polite world-conquering supervillain…I really don't care to have  
you around, Mr. Blonde…Though if Ms. Blonde might consider my offer,  
plus sparing her main squeeze…?"

Buffy frowned...As a loud gong sounded…

"Well, that's the UN trying to reach me…Girls, take them back to their  
room…We've got hours yet so I'll give you two a chance to think it  
over…Carefully…" Kim, pleasantly… "See you at dinner…"

"Dinner?..." Will stared…

"Hey, I'm not an animal…" Kim's voice, aggrieved… "No foreign  
visitor's ever had cause to fault my hospitality…  
Formal dress, I'd say, given the occasion…The ladies will bring you  
what you need…"

Blare over speaker…

"Little kim?..."

"It's not my fault, dad!..."

***  
"We're not just gonna sit here?..." Buffy frowned at Will as they sat  
in their small room…The lead Slayer having assured them she and her  
team would be right outside the only door…

"Until you get your strength back or figure a way to handle the ladies  
and their friends without Slayer strength, yes…" he nodded… "Be calm,  
love…As our little cockroach of a host noted, we've got time…Do you  
feel like it's wearing off?..."

She sighed, shaking head…

"But you could take them…" she suggested… "I'll just barricade and  
wait for you…"

"They'd just bring you out and hold you as a hostage or threaten to  
shoot the room up…No, we go together, when you're up to it…" he shook  
head…

"And if we run outta time?..." she eyed him…

"Cross that when we run into it…Now, you think there's any other way  
out of here?..."

"Only if Willow teleports us out…" she replied, staring at the blank  
walls…

He regarded her…She giving careful look…

The door opened…The lead Slayer entered…

"Up, please…" she waved a hand to indicate they should stand…

"Ming-na…Check them for magics again, Sue, pat them down…" she told  
the Slayers following behind her, one  
of whom immediately went to Buffy…The other pulled out a small glowing  
orb…

"I expect it's a trick but…" the lead Slayer noted, eyeing Buffy  
carefully…

"Ooooh…Your Greatness…." Buffy looked past her…All three turned…

Will frowned…Lovely…

I ask her to be sensible and wait…This is the support I get…

Typical…

Another brilliant scheme…He grabbed Sue and threw her down…Lunging for  
Ming-na as Buffy kicked rather feebly at the lead Slayer…

The door to the room closed…As he knocked Ming-Na unconscious and  
reached the lead Slayer before she could grab Buffy…

Great…He sighed at Buffy's pleased face…

Hey, three Slayers with only a little help from me…That's my guy,  
there…

Course they were a bit on the dopey, enthralled side, but still…

"You'll never get out of here alive…" the lead Slayer struggled in his  
grip…

"Will, bite her…" Buffy whispered in his ear…

"What?..." he stared at her, trying to keep the girl from escaping his  
hold…Ooof!...He groaned as the Slayer elbowed him viciously, barely  
managing to hold on…

"Now…" she hissed… "I'll try and cover…"

"Will you do like I say?..." urgent hiss… She moved as if to help him  
hold her, trying to cover him and the Slayer from any view… "Before  
the other two wake up…Or they send more in…?"

"Hey…" she pulled back as he poked at her…

"Just wanted to be sure…" he eyed her carefully…Taking face and  
sinking fangs in the struggling woman's neck…

"Release the Slayers, or we'll gas you…" a voice came over a hidden  
speaker above them… "You have five seconds!…"

"All right…" Buffy called… "Just open the door…Two are unconscious and  
the other's hurt…"

"Bring them by the door, stand clear, and don't make a move…"

"What's going on?..." another voice cut in… Little kim's they  
recognized…

"The prisoners overpowered our Slayers…We've sealed them in…" the  
first speaker's voice… "They're surrendering them now…"

"Let me see…" static… "Crap…Is Dad getting this?..." voice cut off…

Will pulled the two unconscious Slayers to the door…Eyeing  
Buffy?...Should I?...

She shook head, indicating the leader…He went to her…Patting her  
gently… "Sweetheart, you hear me?..." he whispered…

The woman nodded…Eyes closed, head down…

"Can you give us a hand getting out of here, love?..."

"No…Great Leader…" she mumbled…

"Tell her you're the Great Leader now…" Buffy whispered…

"Right…Sweetheart, I'm your Great Leader now, understand?...Not fat-  
four eyes…"

"You…Are…Great…Leader?..."

"Absolutely…You know it, kid…Right?..."

"You….Are…Great…Leader…" she nodded…

That's my vampiral husband…Buffy beamed…

Though if he keeps her in thrall a minute longer than we need her…

"When they open the door, tell 'em you're ok and resume command of the  
guards…" he told her… "Try not to let  
them examine you too closely…" he looked to Buffy…

"She should wait and get us out later…After getting me the antidote to  
whatever she gave me…" she hissed…

He nodded and instructed the woman…The door opened…

"Go…" he told her… "Make it look good…"

A guard cautiously peeked in…Clearly the low man on the pole…Grabbing  
Sue's body, he retreated…

"Wait for me…" the lead Slayer called, taking Ming-na by the legs…

"Sorry if we hurt you or the girls, love…" Will called…

"Gas them as soon as I'm out…" the lead Slayer called to the  
loudspeaker…Eyeing William and giving a slight nod…

Buffy staring…

"I did tell her to make it look good…" he noted…Pulling a handkerchief  
from his pocket which he passed to Buffy…

White gas now starting to fill the room, Buffy tried to cover her  
mouth and nose…

"I'm fine, but it's best we leave them unconscious for now…" the lead  
Slayer noted to the head of the guards outside, a short, husky man of  
tough face and hard physique…

"Are they all right?..." Little kim eyed the unconscious Slayers…

"Yes, just knocked out…Take them to the infirmary…" she waved to a  
guard…

"They're down…" a guard noted from his monitor in the hall…

"Walthrop's less susceptible…Don't trust him…" the lead Slayer  
insisted…

Little kim eyeing her… "You all right, Soong?..."

"Fine, sir…" she nodded… "Just ashamed to have failed his Greatness  
like that…"

"No need for Dad to hear about it…" he suggested… "Alls well now and  
he's got bigger things on his mind today…"

"If you wish, sir…" she eyed him…

"It's fine…Just don't kill Ms. Summers with the gas, please…"

"Yes, sir…" she nodded… "Vent the room, please…" she turned to the  
guard at the monitor…Eyeing the screen showing Buffy and William  
stretched out on the floor…

"Better send the doctor in to check…But no one else in case Walthrop  
is deceiving us…" she noted…

"The stuff does work even on the Undead, right?..." little kim eyed  
the screen…

"It should…But we should be cautious for the Great Leader's sake…"  
Soong watched the screen…

"Sure…" little kim sighed…

Wish she'd be cautious for my sake…Well, one day…Soon…

"I'd better go join Dad…Give me constant reports on them…"

"Yes, sir…" Soong nodded…Watching him leave…

"Resume positions…" she ordered the guards…

"More?..." Will asked, sympathetic tone…

"If you got it, yeah…" Buffy sighed…

He opened the ice pack the doctor had left for what he warned would be  
a humdinger of a headache and stuffed a few more cubes in from the  
pail one of the guards had brought…Closed the top and handed it to  
Buffy who applied it to her aching head…

"How about you?..." she looked at him…

"I'm fine…No aftereffects thanks to my wonderful physical condition…  
Unphysical condition, that is…"

She eyed him…Mouthing 'Sorry'…

He nodded… "I guess that little move gained us nothing…Except your  
splitting headache…You sure you're ok…"

"I'll be fine…The Slayers ok…?" stare…

"The first girl, Soong, said so…I imagine she'd have no need to lie in  
this case for her master…"

"But she probably could if she wanted to…" he eyed her…

"I'm sure she couldn't help herself if she were told to…" Buffy  
replied…Leaning to him, and kissing him…  
"Lets knock off the subtle doubletalk, they're gonna catch on…" she  
whispered…

"I know I'm totally confused…" he whispered back, grinning at her…  
Resuming normal tone… "Thanks, sweet…Glad you're ok… But lets not try  
again…Just now…"

"Yeah…" she nodded…

"Well, since we got nothing but time…" he noted… "And no doubt an  
appreciative audience eavesdroppin'…"

She eyed him…

"Cicely?..." he asked…

"I was in London, trying to look you up…In the archives that survived  
Caleb, I mean…His Benevolence contacted me through the Council,  
claiming he had info for me on you of a confidential nature…" she  
sighed… "Very confidential…And restricted…"

"He gave me this…" she pulled up the pendant of a necklace she'd been  
keeping tucked under her blouse…

"Yeah, you recognize it…You saw it on me every day…Except those two  
nights we were together…" she smiled wanly…

"It is Cicely's…Or a reasonable facsimile thereof…He had it?..."

"My Watcher took it off my corpse…They took just about everything…By  
the way…" she raised her voice sharply… "I want that book back…!"

"Apparently His Benevolence then stole my necklace from them…" she  
continued… "He has a pretty tight thing with the Council…As well as  
the Partners…Though probably both sides knew all along he was playing  
both ends…"

"Anything else?..." Will looked at her…

"He told me my diary was in the archives, locked away…But I already  
knew most of what I needed to know…The minute I held my necklace in my  
hand again…" she looked away… "I knew what I'd done to you…"

"You said you were trying to save me…I think I can guess what  
happened…"

"Yeah…" she sighed… "My Watcher very kindly furnished me with my own  
vengeance demon…Or in my case, she was called a 'justice' demon, I  
believe…And she carried out my little plan to the letter…Only she  
neglected to mention she'd arranged things with Drusilla…"

"And then he…Our dear Immortal?...Told you about the Partners' little  
game with me and Angel?..."

"He said they'd allowed Angel's enemy to bring you back in spirit to  
challenge him for their own purposes…And if I agreed just not to  
interfere, they'd see you all the way back and leave you in one piece…  
I imagine they'd've raised the price later to cooperation or selling  
my soul or something like that…"

"Idiots…" he grinned…

"I'd've paid…Gladly…" she eyed him… "If I'd thought they'd keep their  
word…Or even just give me the time I'd need to get you out…And leave  
Angel and the Council and maybe all Humanity to go hang…"

"I'm…" he began, pausing at her intense stare…

"I thought that night…I'd given everything up to save you…" she said…  
"And when I saw you…When they were taking you and I couldn't stop them…  
No, I couldn't grab that coffin out of that hearse and smash it to  
splinters and raise you then and there and let you take me with you…  
When all I could do was watch and then listen to my father and Simon,  
my watcher, tell me it was for the…" she look down, fists clenched…  
"And now a century later, the same thing all over again…Giles telling  
me it was a real shame you had to be sacrificed, he supposed after all  
you weren't a bad fellow in your soul…But what a convenience for the  
Council…In so many words…That I did my duty and left you to fry…  
They're lucky people, those Councilors…If I hadn't blamed myself so  
much more…" she looked up at his face, hers deathly pale… "I'd've  
killed every one of them, starting with Giles…But…Once again, I was  
the one most to blame…The one who'd failed you…Betrayed you…"

"No…" he said quietly… "I'd have been lost forever without you…"

"I think…I think I knew…At the cavern…" she said, ignoring him… "But I  
was so terrified to face the truth…It was so much easier to let you  
die again, thinking I didn't give a damn…And maybe, the truth is…"

"Stop it, Cicely…" he took her clenched fists in his hands…

"Tell me what happened…After…"

"After?..." she looked at him…

"You bore my child, you tried to find me?..."

She sighed… "My father…Sir Richard…Tried to force me to deny the  
marriage had ever taken place…Tried to force me to…I left…My cousin…"

"I remember Henry…" he nodded…

"He helped me slip out…Gave me what money he could…I managed to get  
Mother's sent to him after a while and he sent it on to me so Father  
couldn't trace me easily…And I started looking for you…You rose while  
I was ill, locked in the house by Father after you died…I think the  
Council still hoped they could make me see reason…At first…"

"Then they saw it was hopeless and poisoned me…" she said quietly…  
"And killed our baby with me…Before I could find you…"

"And Giles knew…?" William eyed her…

"He knew some of it…They thought I might come back…Pissing in their  
pants with each new Slayer, that it might be me, back…They were  
watching for any signs a Slayer seemed interested in you…I don't know  
if it was me with the others…" she eyed his shocked face…

"I…" he choked…

"No…No…" she rose, putting hands on his shoulders… "No, I'm sure they  
weren't…Will, you know they weren't…" she smiled at his stricken face,  
holding his shaking hands firmly… "I'm too good…I wouldn't have  
lost…"

He calmed…Then nodded slowly…Right…

"They tried to get you a few times…But not because they feared William  
the Bloody Awful, prince of Darkness…You were never the world-  
threatening type…They knew…And the Immortal stressed it…Your soul  
hadn't left for good…You were hangin' round Spike, trying to find out  
what happened…You knew something wasn't right and there was unfinished  
business…And so did I…"

"When you came to Sunnydale…" she eyed him… "They were nervous, since  
I was turning out to be one hell of a Slayer…But, they told Giles to  
leave it to me…Hoped I'd solve their problem in my usual way…And every  
time I failed to knock you off and seemed a little closer to you, they  
got a little more terrified…"

"I see…" he nodded… "And here we are, saving Humanity and Council yet  
again…"

"Humanity and our own future…I've told Giles if the Council ever  
interferes with us again…" she looked at him… "If they so much as try  
to take a tissue sample from Dawn…If you catch cold…"

"And Dawn?..."

"The monks needed a soul for their construct…They found the one I was  
certain to protect instinctively…And that you would protect as well…"  
she shook her head…

"Naturally Giles couldn't resist pointing out that all had after all  
ended reasonably well for us…"

"Did he?..." Will nodded… "Big of him…"

"The docs say his broken arm will only take four weeks to heal…" she  
grinned…

"So Dawn's…Ok?...With me…?" he hesitated…

"She's ok…" she nodded… "But she needs to see you…And tell you…I think  
it's killing her even more than me…  
If that's possible…" wan smile…

"Please come home, Will…When we wrap things here…" she looked at him…  
"We can't live without you…Not  
another day…"

"Yes, thanks…" he nodded…Hugging her desperately… "Cics…Cics…" he  
whispered, she clutching him… "Oh…"

A noncommittal Soong summoned them for dinner about three hours later,  
leading them quietly under human and the other two recovered Slayers'  
guard to a palatial dining hall… Where their rotund host and son  
awaited them…

"Guys…Hope you got some rest…Been a bitch of a day for me…" Kim noted…  
Waving them to chairs…Each on either side of him…

Cheeky little bastard to put me so close, Will thought…Even if Buffy's  
still a bit under the influence…

Still three enthralled Slayers, ten…Nope fifteen…Humans with crossbows…  
A trifle daunting at first glance anyway…

"So…My plot to rule the world?...Pretty neat, eh, toots…?" Kim in his  
seat at table's head nudged Buffy next to him…Who shrank from his  
nudge…

"What?…You sleep with Undead guys and an Asian guy isn't good  
enough?...You some kind of racist or something?..." he frowned…

"Hey…" Will glared… "That's a lousy thing to say…Buffy's just never  
met an Asian guy she wanted to sleep with…If you weren't a venomous  
bug, she'd probably be undressed right now…"

Uh…Buffy stared…

Thanks…I guess…

"Really…" Kim nodded…Smiling at a Buffy frowning at Will…Really…Thanks…  
Very funny…

"Then she's sure to respond well to my conditioning process…Especially  
with that tough will of hers…"

"Excuse me?..." Will stared…

Little kim chuckling evilly…Hey, Dad…Way to go…

"Observe…" Kim smiled… "Say, Soong-Li?..." he called…The pale, wan-  
faced, lovely Slayer leader who'd quietly served dinner came to his  
side…Staring blankly…

"Tell our guests who you used to be…"

"Soong-Li Wang…China's top agent…" she replied…

"Sent here to…?"

"Infiltrate South Korean Intelligence and reach a high position in the  
ranks…At the same time to spy on and later assassinate your Greatness,  
Greatness…" she replied, flat tone…

"And you changed your mind?..."

"Your Greatness changed it for me…" she replied…

"And what kinds of torture did you endure without cracking?…She was  
one hell of a tough broad…" he noted to the others…

"Several months of mind drugs, isolation, waterboarding, fingernail  
removal…"

"…I feel bad about that…But we got her new ones…" Kim interrupted...  
"Sorry, babe…Go on…"

"…Beatings, the rack, blowtorch…"

"…I feel bad about that too…But we needed a really tough test  
subject…"

"…Rat cage, wild dogs, psychologic torture…"

"We did some things from 'The Prisoner' TV series…Truly mind-blowing…"  
Kim grinned… "Was that all?..."

"Sledgehammer to my toes…"

"Who sanctioned that?..." Kim stared… "I distinctly said no damage to  
the feet…"

"Uh…We did it with an orthopedic surgeon in attendance, Dad…" little  
kim, nervously… "No permanent damage…I was just sure it would work…She  
seemed sensitive about her feet…"

Glare… "Well...Anyway, the point is…Did you talk, sweetie…?"

"No, Greatness…"

"And how long after conditioning did you spill everything and pledge  
yourself to me?..."

"Immediately, Greatness…"

"Thanks, hon…Take your trays, go clean up the kitchen, and resume  
guard duty with the girls…"

"Yes, Greatness…" Soong-Li blankly marched off with trays…Little kim  
rising hastily and following… "Lemme help you with that…" trying to  
take heavy tray from her…

"Little kim, small k!..." Kim called… "Get back here…!" Eye roll…

Buffy eyed Will…Hmmn…

Little kim reluctantly taking seat again…Glancing off to watch Soong-  
Li enter the kitchen…

"You're thinking…She's fakin' and he's bluffin'…" Kim grinned, turning  
back to them… "But I assure you, I'm no more bluffing with you than  
with the UN…And you'll be happily attending me by missile launch  
tonight, Ms. S….And you'll even more happily do the honors as to  
seein' your undead Brit off the face of this world…"

She eyed William…Thin smile…

This could be fun…Her look saying…

"Mrs. Walthrop…" she corrected…

"If you prefer…" Kim grinned, sneering… "I'd say half my girls were  
once pretty keen on other guys before the Great One turned their  
heads…"

"Yeah, Dad's a real stud, pal…" little kim, small k, agreed…Kim  
frowning at him…

Uh…

Soong-Li returned from the kitchen…Taking her place with the other two  
Slayers near Buffy and Will…

The slightest of brief glances to Will as she did so…

Hmmn…He thought, contentedly…As always, the Missus is right…

This could very well be fun…

"Shall we do dessert on the missile control platform?..." Kim  
suggested…

"Thanks love…" Will nodded to the blank-faced Slayer passing him a  
sugar bowl…He taking two lump for his coffee and passing it to Buffy…

"This has been pleasant…But might I ask?..." he eyed Kim sitting in  
large, throne-like recliner with Soong-Li and the third Slayer  
flanking him, along with half-a-dozen guards to each side…

Little kim in ordinary chair off to the right side…

"Hmmn?...Please…" the Great One nodded…

"You fire one missile…The US, if not the Chinese, Air Force comes  
screaming in, blasting every one of your bases apart…If they don't go  
nuclear straight out…?"

"The missiles fire simultaneously…We're all in the various underground  
caverns…Mine being the most secure, of course…"

"Of course…" Will nodded… "But the US has been working on a missile  
shield…"

"Star Wars…Beautiful 'Star Wars'…Hey, don't let those  
'Star Wars' ever end…" Kim sang, mockingly… "C'mon…Everyone knows your  
boys are years away from  
knocking ICBMs down…You get lucky on Scuds with a few Patriots and you  
start believing your own propaganda…Not a chance…You might have  
something to knock one, maybe two down…"

"NK glowing doesn't worry you?..."

"The caverns are ten thousand feet down…Not a chance…" Kim shrugged…  
"Besides what we'll be doing will take a thousand years to heal  
anyway…"

"Pity you won't live to see that day…Unless…" he eyed Kim…"You weren't  
possibly thinking of utilizing my services?..."

"Please…" Kim frowned… "If I'd wanted Undead I'd've gone Undead years  
ago like my ole man…"

Will blinked…Little kim looking down…

Hate it when Dad tells Grampa's story to strangers…It oughta stay in  
family…

"Yeah, the Great Father didn't want to kick the bucket…But he  
overestimated his willpower…A little too much listening to his own  
propaganda…I understand Stalin was the same way…" Kim eyed William…

"So I've heard…" Will nodded…

"What?..." Buffy stared… "You two look like you know something?..."

"Dad?..." little kim asked, curious…

"Mr. Walthrop been keeping his light under a bushel, girlie…" Kim  
chuckled…

"It was no big deal…" Will sighed to Buffy… "Dru and I were picked up  
Leningrad during the siege by Stalin's boys…We'd been passing as  
British correspondents…I'll tell you the story later…"

"Ole Joe sure never forgot…He had agents after you en masse, kid…" Kim  
chuckled… " 'Watch you drown in your own drool'? was that it…?"

"Something like that…" Will nodded…

"I nearly bust a gut when I first heard that one…" Kim guffawed…  
"Well, anyway…The Undead Unlifestyle's not for me, thanks…But I do  
intend to be around for the big unopening…"

"Oh…Did you choke the secret out of the Immortal?..." Will asked…

"Oooh…" Kim grinned… "I think your guy's been reading the tabloids,  
girlie…" he chuckled to Buffy…

Oh, God…Thanks, honey…She frowned at Will…

"But no, his way is kinda hit and miss…I didn't like the odds…I'm  
goin' with cryogenics…"

"Kimsicle?...Nice…Especially since they've not got it to work yet…"  
Will noted…

"Here we go with the racism again…You think every major breakthrough  
comes in the West?..." Kim frowned… "We worked cryogenics out over ten  
years ago…Of course, we did have plenty of volunteers and fewer  
bureaucratic obstacles to human experimentation..Plus a few ex-Nazis  
with experience…"

"Dad's got nearly a million followers frozen…" little kim noted…Kim  
glaring…

"Well, a lot…The exact number's a state secret…" little kim,  
nervously…

"Awaiting Judgment Day and the life to come, no doubt…" Will smiled…

"Well, you better hope it works…For your girlie's sake…" Kim glared…

"That's thoughtful…" Will nodded… "You'll turn her into a zombie, then  
freeze her to keep you company your Thousand Year and a day Reich,  
eh?..."

"Guy's irresistible, eh sweetheart?..." he smiled at Buffy…

"I'm won…" she nodded coolly…

"Hey, banter…I like that…" Kim nodded… "Too bad you won't be very good  
at it when he's burned to a crisp and you're more interested in  
licking my toes…" he smiled…

"I didn't mention we were planning to strap you down in front of the  
first missile to be launched at 11, did I?..." he asked Will…

"I'm sure it slipped your chubby little mind…" Will nodded… "I  
understand bad cholesterol ups the likelihood of Alzheimer's…"

Stifled chuckle from little kim…

"Hilarious…I will miss you…Suppose we name our first born after you,  
pal?…Eh, Buffy?..." Kim grinned at Buffy…

"Why not?..." she shrugged…

"Ah, spirit…I like that too…It's great to watch the spirited types  
snap like brittle iron bars under the treatment…You know, the shifty  
ones hold out much longer?...They're used to swaying with the wind so  
they've got coping strategies…Or so my psych docs tell me…The really  
strong-willed like our Soong-Li here break completely in a hour or two…  
I give you three hours tops, girlie…"

"So you and Dan Quayle here go ice cube when?..." William asked…

Little kim frowning a bit…

"Oh…" Will nodded…

"So that stuff about a power transfer was true…Within limits…?"

"Somebody's gotta run the caverns while I'm in deep-freeze…" Kim  
nodded…

"My son and his descendants…If God willing…He can get it up at least  
via artificially insemination…Will rule in my stead until the great  
day of awakening…" Kim rose up… "When like the reblossoming world, I  
will emerge from my sleep and resume the reins of power as the  
Greatest Leader…"

"Yeah…" little kim…Looking away…

"Now I call that filial loyalty…" Will nodded… "They run the slophouse  
so you don't have to put up with a booze and pretzels shortage and you  
reap the benefits in 3010…Nice…"

"Time?..." Kim turned to the other Slayer nearest Soong-Li…

"Seven-sixteen and thirty-five seconds, Greatness…"

"Great…Well, folks…It's been a mix of real and Unreal…" Kim rose with  
the help of the other two Slayers…

Soong-Li keeping watch on Buffy…

"But Mrs. Walthrop has an appointment with my psychiatrists…And you,  
pal…" he eyed William… "Need to be fitted for that once-in-an-  
Unlifetime front row seat in the missile launch bay…"

Buffy rose to her feet suddenly…Soong-LI grabbing her as Will lunged  
for the closest Kim, little kim, small k…

"Hey…Nice…" Kim clapped… "I've been waiting for that all evening…I  
kinda feel bad we doped Mrs. W…It wasn't really a fair game…Soong-Li  
will drive that stake through your girlie's heart if you take another  
step toward my heir apparent, Walthrop…"

"Not that it would be much loss on my part…" he grinned… "But losing  
Mrs. W would be a tragedy…Be reasonable, Mr. Blonde…You've had your  
lives and then some…I'm sure you'd rather go out as a flaming hero one  
more time than a pile of dust with a crossbow sticking out…"

"Debatable…" Will noted… "But…" he sighed and put up his hands,  
allowing the other two Slayers to secure his wrists with cuffs…While  
Soong-Li cuffed Buffy… "Where there's Unlife..."

"That's the spirit…" Kim grinned… "Fortunately I'll soon be crushing  
it out of Humanity  
***


	2. Chapter 2

"Blonde Thunder…Ball…"

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca-verse, Cicelyverse page,  
....

Disclaimer: I won't blame Joss for those comics if he doesn't blame  
me for this… All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon,  
Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire  
Slayer series...

Summary: When a little pig-faced cockroach with nukes under his arm  
rattles his sword and makes trouble, who ya gonna call?...

Part III…

Hmmn…William pondered his options, stretching a bit in the chair in which as his aged cherub of a host, Kim Jong Il had promised, he had a rather up-close-and-personal view of what might be the event of the last 65 million years…

He eyed the two Slayers guarding him along with a brace of crossbow-armed human guard…Unfortunately neither being his hopefully Walthrop-enthralled former guard commander , ace Chinese agent and Slayer, Soong-Li…

Worse luck yet, she'd not been assigned to escort Buffy to her little psychotherapy appointment, Kim apparently wanting her handy for coordinating tonight's big event…Though on her own in the midst of guards and likely still heavily under the influence of whatever had been used on her, he couldn't count on much from her…

Not that Buffy Summers couldn't deal with a little mind control and such…

Buffy Cicely Walthrop Summers, he thought, rather happily…

And even in her drug-weakened state…Even assuming magics are tossed in…

Hmmn…Who'm I kidding…I've seen her cave to a spell-cursed football jacket…And the two leading her guards were more Slayers… Kim Jr boasting proudly, before Dad had slapped his little kim, small k, back down…That they had twenty Slayers in their grip…Deployed to cover the other missile sites as well as Mission Control…

But…I'm not much good to her as a pile of dust…He noted, wryly to himself…

"Any idea of the time, love?..." he asked the closest blank-faced Slayer…A tall young woman in black jacket and black worker's cap…

"7:59 pm and 20 seconds, sir…" the woman replied with a strong accent…

"So, that's over three hours to the big moment for me to sit through?...I thought Lord Kim prided himself on his hospitality…?"

"Would you care for something to eat or drink, sir?..." the young woman asked…

"I'd not say no to a Guinness if one's at hand…"

She called to a guard who nodded and went to a phone nearby…

Well…Nice...But so much for losing one Slayer guard…

"8:00 pm…" the woman stated flatly…

Great…A Slayer cuckoo-clock…

She went over to an instrument panel…

Hmmn…The Great One having his little joke and moving up the launch time?...

"Thanks..." he accepted the Guiness offered by a guard while keeping an eye on the Slayer at the panel...

Might call for desperate measures...

A large television screen was revealed by two panels pulling back…

"It is time…For…" the young woman pasted a happy and warm smile on her still-blank face as did the other Slayer…While the human guards tried to look enthusiastic…

N…K…B… The letters appeared on the screen with chimes…

"North Korean Broadcasting presents…" the Slayer who'd been addressing him announced in bright tones…Clearly translating what was coming from the television speakers in Korean for him…

"Today's News from the Great Leader…With Hong Gil-Dong…"

A blank-eyed young woman appeared on the screen in suit, similarly blank, happy smile pasted…

"In today's news…" the Slayer translated… "Our Great Father graciously agreed to accept the groveling supplications of the imperialist Western powers at the urging of our Chinese allies. It is clear that once again Our Great Leader has forced the West to admit its guilt and…"

"GOD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS QUEEN!...GOD SAVE OUR NOBLE QUEEN!..." William bellowed with gusto…Frowning at the actor in brownface attempting to depict the US President…

Lord…Apparently the Tea Party has a branch here…

"…Admitted the culpability of the United States and has agreed to accept all terms proposed…"

"GOOOD SAVE…OUR…QUEEN!..."

"In other news…"

"World to be destroyed, film at eleven?..." he suggested to the screen…

"…Two top Western spies apprehended attempting to penetrate our impregnable border yesterday evening were brought before the People's Court to face charges…"

Video of Buffy and Will walking through the control center's halls under guard…

"…of terrorism, espionage, and aggression against the People."

Poorly doctored shot of William…Dialogue dubbed in clearly failing to match lip movements…

"Didn't know I spoke Korean…" he smiled at the Slayer blankly translating…

"Having admitted both his current actions of aggression and violence and his hideous past as mass murdering vampire and imperialist stooge, Spy William Walthrop begged the Justices of the People and our Great Leader for mercy."

Cut to shot of Korean actor in blonde wig and vague imitation of Spike's duster, groveling before a railing facing the frowning justices and a gigantic blow-up photo of Kim Sr…

"In His wisdom, the Great Leader ordered Justice to be done immediately…"

Guess no one told the poor fellow his acting would have that hard core of real experience…Will eyed the sincerely screaming actor on screen as he was dragged to a post and four horses enlisted to leave him beside himself…

"That phony dust's a nice touch…" he noted to the woman…

He eyed the poorly shot but genuine image of Buffy…"Buffon Summers, American spy was also found guilty…But clemency was recommended by the People's prosecutor in view of her service to Humanity in the past in destroying Undead enemies of the People…"

Buffon?...He stared…

"The Great Leader in his generous mercy has supported the petition to the People. Summers, spy and vampire prostitute offered devout thanks for his clemency…This great Killer of the Undead will soon join the ranks of the People's Defense Force in gratitude for Our Leader's gracious mercy…We will bring you her voluntary confession of her crimes and her speech of gratitude to His Greatness in a few minutes…"

Oh, will you?... He frowned…And I'll be remembering that prostitute crack, fatboy…

"Stay tuned for His Greatness' Christmas in Pyongyang: Let Us Count The Blessings Granted by the Great Father special at eight-thirty…With special guests, Kim Jong-un, American spy turned heroine of the Fatherland, Buffon Summers, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Gong LI, singing sensation Heng-Ya, Bristol Palin, the Pyongyang Boys' Choir, comedian Fred Doi-Neng, and the one and only, Jerry Lewis…Brought to you by…His Greatness' Commission of Entertainment…If the Great One thinks that's entertainment, it's entertainment…And by Our Leader's Loyal Television Technicians…Doing their best to overcome the lies and abuse of the West since 1994…"

The smile on the Slayer's face went down…She staring blankly…

"Christmas…?" Will stared…As the face of the Great Leader appeared on screen to urge all to live more simply and avoid such health-threatening luxuries as food…

"Bit early isn't it...?" Will asked politely…

"Not if all goes according to plan, sir…" the woman replied…

"Angelina Jolie?...What, a cardboard cutout?..."

"She and Ms. Kidman were kidnapped days ago, sir…Their standard psych conditioning was completed today, just before Ms. Summers' own special Slayer session…"

"I know the Palin's hell-spawned but Mr. Lewis?..."

"He thinks he's been invited to perform in France…"

"Sparing no expense, eh?..."

"It will be the last Christmas special for some time …" the Slayer noted…Repasting smile… "And now, we take you to the halls of…The People's Court…"

Will eyed the screen…And sighed…

"Buffon Summers…" the Slayer translated the announcer's monotone…

"Buffy!..." he called…

"Enemy of the People, captured at our impregnable border by our invincible military, faces the charges of espionage, terrorist activity, and murder…Will her past service to Humanity weigh in her favor?...It will all be decided in…The People's Court…"

Buffy in drab beige jacket, worker's cap facing a railing before a tribunal…The judges in the same drab outfit…

"Name…?" one of the three judges…

"Buffy Summers, daughter of imperialism…" Buffy intoned, blankly…

"Charges…"

"Espionage, murder, counter-revolution against the People…" she said, flatly…

"You have admitted guilt…" the middle judge insisted…

"I am guilty…" flat tone…

Fast work…Will eyed his Slayer guard…

"It is impossible even for the most degenerate of imperialist stooges to resist the benevolent affection of the Great Leader for more than a few moments…" the Slayer translator/guard nodded…

"It is an honor to absolve myself before the People…" Buffy said in a monotone… " I accept the just decision of this great people and its Dear Leader…"

"The Great Leader has extended you clemency..." the last of the three judges noted… "The People echo his compassion and allow you the chance to serve our Glorious Revolutionary State…"

"No chance she's faking it, I suppose?…" he asked the second Slayer guard as the first Slayer continued her translation of the news report…Who simply stared blankly a moment…Then surprised him by taking on an uncanny resemblance to his host…

Allowing for her being a young and delicately lovely woman taking on the mannerisms and leering grin of an aged, pig-faced, leering cherub…

"Not a chance, Brit-boy…" the woman sneered… Then grinned… "You like?...This is a neat feature the brain-boys came up with for me…Plug-in virtual possession…"

"Delightful…Nero and Hitler are put to shame…"

"Can't wait to try it out on the little blondie…" the woman gave a lewd smile… "You know I'm not really into guy-guy… But I could consider guy-possessed girlie-vamp guy…If you'd like one last shagorama before we blow?…"

"Why not…?" Will replied…Eyeing the girl coolly…

"Like I'd fall for that one…" she sneered again… "But in a little while, when she's ready…Maybe I'll run her over to give you a last farewell…See ya, babe…" she blew a kiss, chuckling…And went blank again…

"And now…" the first Slayer spoke up… "Right here, on our Pyongyang stage…The People's NKB presents…"

"It must involve magics…To work that quick…" Will asked the second Slayer… "You stupid pig-faced turd…"

No response…Guess he's either playing cat-and-mouse or really did unplug…

"No need to make fun of the poor kid…" the first Slayer said…

He looked to see an insert on the TV screen of Kim stuffed into tuxedo eyeing him…

"Off to rape the local villagers…?" he addressed the image…

"Been there, done that…Like you…" Kim's face smiled at him…

"But I seriously doubt you'll be getting a soul and trying to make some amends any time soon…" Will noted…

"Point taken…But from my pov, you've been wasting your time with this redemption nonsense…" close up…

Will sighed at the leering face…

"This what you used on my wife?...Can't blame her then…That singing would break anyone…"

"Haw, haw, haw…" insert Kim frowned… "Did you see her in court?...She broke faster than Soong-Li…"

"It's part magics, isn't it?...You can't condition someone that quickly…Unless she's just playing along until she can kill you."

"Magics…Pfff…They never last…We stick to brainwashing…Though on Slayers we use the Heinlein approach…But excuse me I got a Christmas special to do…" the insert winked out…

"…from now on, our troubles will be miles away…" Kim on main screen warbled on…

"Thought this was an officially atheist country…" Will eyed the Slayer who'd translated for him…Watching him silently with bright, plastic smile, while the Great One crooned on in English…

"The Great Leader grew up watching US Christmas specials by satellite…He loves Christmas…Besides, Japan and other Asian nations celebrate Christmas…In our case we just say Jesus was an early revolutionary…" the woman replied…She spoke suddenly in bright tones… "We'll be back with more holiday magic from the Great One…And stay tuned afterward for a special announcement from Our Great Father following the broadcast…"

"As in, you're all…But the ten million safely locked away…Gonna die…"

"I believe so, sir…" she nodded…Jerking to upbeat tone suddenly…

"Friends…Don't be fooled by Western propaganda…When you smoke, smoke the brand of our Great Leader…Kim's, the one cigarette when supplies are available, legally allowed in our Divine Fatherland…Kim's…For that smooth, strong taste that lasts all day…" Handsome actor on screen, puffing with satisfaction…

Another insert winked on…

"Hello, enemy of the People…" Buffy said, blankly…Still outfitted in drab blouse and worker's cap…

"Hello, sweetheart…" Will sighed… "Sorry…"

"Your agonized death will bring our Leader much satisfaction...Nearly as much as the many sons I shall bear him in our future paradise…" she said woodenly…

"Nice job, eh, bucko…" little kim's face appeared next to her… "Bet you thought we couldn't pull it off…Huh, huh?..."

"The Heinlein approach, dear ole Dad said?..."

"My contribution…I did a second major in Biology…Of course it was your girlfriend…"

"Wife…"

"Whatever…Who provided the key…Remember that thing with the neural shunts, Bezoar?...The eggs?..."

"Beg pardon?..."

"Oh, right…You weren't in on that one…"

"I've heard of Bezoar…"

"Right, well, we were monitoring Sunnydale…Dad liked to keep an eye on the Hellmouth and Ms. Summers' doin's and when I saw her mind control eggs in action, I said to the Great One that it was just like Heinlein's puppet master aliens…He got me the last surviving specimen…And with a little gene modification and the installation of a few microchips…Voila…"

"Really…"

"Show the Unman, Buffy…"

She turned around with a jerk and opened her blouse in back, revealing where a tiny tentacle of a gelatinous material ran into the back of her neck…Leading down to a jellyfish-like mass clinging to the hollow of her back…

"Of course being partly demonic still, it requires demonic energy to work and the mother creature is not available to supply the juice…So for now, it only works on Slayers off their own demonic power…" little kim noted… "But one day…"

"We'll see, fuckface jr…Shouldn't you be watching dear ole Dad warble?..." Will glared…

"Just wanted to be sure you got a good look at my future bride…" little kim sneered, turning Buffy to face the camera…

"Oh?...And dear ole Stalin Jr's ok with that?..."

Veiled look from the heir apparent…

"Ah…I see…So…The Kimsicle is not going to get thawed on the great day in 3010 as planned, eh?..."

The Slayer guards turned to look at the screen…The human guards eyed each other…

Ummn… Little kim eyed the Slayer guards on his own monitor…

"Uh…Of course he will…Our Divine Leader will guide us forever…I just mean, maybe while he's occupied…Ummn…I'm clearing it with him, of course…"

"Of course…" Will nodded…

"Just to ensure we have the best heirs to guide us during the down times, then of course she'll join him in deep freeze…"

"Not bloody likely…"Buffy grinned, blank look gone… "You sodden little bastard…" strong Brit accent…Glare at little kim…

Little kim stared…Will stared…

"Buffy's out to rest but Cicely's here and kicking arse…" she noted…Grabbing little kim by throat before he could move or summon help…

"By the bye, I've a bone to pick with you, William…" she eyed screen… "What's this sudden interest in skeletal blonde Americans?..." frown…

"Sweetheart…?"

"We…The Yank and me…Found the thing can't handle two complete personalities at once…" she explained… "We just kept Cicely in wraps while it settled in…"

"Two?..." little kim stared… "Damn…Arggh…" She lifted him off the floor… "Lemme go or you'll die…Guards!..." little kim gasped at the camera feeding Will's monitor… "Call my guards outside here!..."

"Not so fast!..." Will called… "Unless you want Dad to know you plan to let him defrost to death …There's a threat to Great Leader, sweethearts…" he eyed the hesitant Slayer guards watching the screen now…The lead guard pulling cell phone, halting in midnumber to start a new sequence…

The human guards eyeing each other…

Hmmn…Will looked at them…

The ones who weren't sniffing rocket fuel to relieve the boredom and horror of their miserable lives seem a bit hesitant to rush to stop the little prick's game…I'd say this has the earmarks of a little palace coup…

"Wait!...I never said that…Special order 66!..." little kim cried…The Slayers froze…

"Yes, Great Leader…" Both intoned… Will regarded them…

The human guards eyeing the screen…Clearly looking to the junior Great One for orders…

Yes, the little worm has definitely turned out to have his own plans…

"Make them let him go you little arse…" Cicely shook little kim…

"Keep Walthrop covered, ladies…Kill him if she hurts me!..." little kim called…

"Release our Divine One or…" the lead Slayer guard insisted, pulling stake…Pointing at Will's chest…

"I'll strangle him if you touch one hair…" Cicely fumed…Little kim gurgling in her grip as she lifted him…

"Stalemate, ladies…" Will eyed the Slayers… "Let him down, love…" he told Cicely on screen… "Lets see if we can negotiate here. You buried Palpatine's order 66 in them?" Will stared at little kim as the heir apparent tried to recover a modicum of dignity on being put back on the ground…

"I love Star Wars…" little kim shrugged… "Dad and I always used to watch it together before he got to be Great Leader when Grampa passed…And started treating me like…"

"That's a pity…Guess power does corrupt even familial relationships…"

"He's even had himself cloned without telling me…That stuff about my producing an heir is crap…When one of them reaches adulthood I'm out…"

"On that day I shall mourn…" Will smiled…

"So I took a few precautions to ensure I'd get my chance…Keep Walthrop covered, ladies…Make sure Dad's not monitoring, Heng…" he addressed the chief human guard, Heng, who nodded and went to a control panel…Giving thumb's up a moment later…

"So a palace coup is in the making…"William grinned…

"We'll need new leadership in the new world…" little kim insisted… "All right, stalemate for the moment…What's your proposal?...Hurry, before Dad calls us up on stage…"

"We don't kill you yet and you help us close down the launch sites…" Will replied…

"Only Dad can cancel the launch orders…Besides, it's the right thing to do, from an ecologic perspective…" He gasped as Cicely choked a bit… "And… the ladies and my guards will vaporize you if she hurts me…" The Slayers drawing stakes on Will…He indicated to Cicely to loosen her grip…The Slayers halting…

"Great…Well, since you're so dedicated to the cause… Cicely, lets call Daddy up and tell him his boy's plans for his future…"

"Righto, love…" she reached for a phone on the wall…

"Wait!..." little kim, frantic…

A buzzer sounded at little kim and Cicely's end… "Dad's calling for us…" little kim noted… "Look, I can offer you prime positions in my new regime…After all you'll live forever and can watch over your girl here while she's frozen till the resurfacing day…"

"Really…Intriguing...Well, suppose we settle for now on your removing that puppet master or whatever it is…"

"That's not so easy, Walthrop…"

"Hello, Dad?..." Will pantomimed a phone call…

"It's woven into the spinal cord and brain now…Can't be done like pulling a plug…You don't want her to suffer permanent damage…?"

"If she does, you do, friend…"

"There's no time…Dad's…" little Kim began…

Another insert opened on the giant monitor in front of William's chair… Kim in white tux looking a tad annoyed…

"Hey, kid?...I've beeped you twice…"

Cicely had taken on a blank look again…

Lord, I hope she's faking…Will sighed…

"Sorry, Dad…Just showing our prisoner his new and improved wife…" little kim explained, nervously eyeing Buffy who continued to stare blankly forward…

"Yeah?...Nice job, eh, buddy?..." Kim sneered, looking Will's way on camera now…

"Hey, Buffy, you ready to sing a duet with your new boyfriend?..." Kim called to Buffy who glanced at what Will took to be the monitor there…

"Yes, Great One…" she nodded…

Watch those nasal tones, girl…Will eyed her…

Kim staring as well…

"Uh…Nice, huh, dad?..." little kim noted hurriedly… "I thought it'd annoy Walthrop a little to give her a Brit accent…You can drop it, now, Buffy…"

"Uh, like, yes, sir…" she replied…A rather poor attempt at Californian, Will thought, inwardly sighing…

Still, the pig-faced one seems to buy it…

Kim chuckled…Hey, good one, little kim…

"Well, bring her up…The People are waiting to hear our number…"

"Right away, dad…" little kim nodded…Reaching for the control panel…His insert winked out…

"Enjoying the show, Blondie?…" Kim sneered at the camera…

"Not quite a Dean Martin Christmas…But charming in its way…" Will replied…

A buzzer sounded…Loudspeaker overhead in the missile launch bay where Will was held….Korean followed by English…

"This is the voice of Mission Control…T minus three hours, five minutes, and counting…At this time all technical readouts show green for go on launch…"

"Neat…" Kim nodded, listening… "Anyway, I miss the old American specials…I used to love watching Perry Como…Always hoped he'd put Pyongyang on his 'Christmas from….' List…But he never did…" head shake…

"Well there's a valid reason to destroy the world…Spite for Perry Como…"

"Hey, if he were alive, he'd be safely frozen in my underground vault right now…I'm no barbarian…" Kim insisted… "And in my new world, we'll do this every year…Gotta go…Christmas show to do, old world to annihilate…" he waved…His insert winking out…

"And now…" the Slayer leader by William resumed her translation once more…Bright smile again…

"Back to the People's Christmas Spectular…Christmas in Pyongyang..Brought to you by the People's Democratic Republic, and our Great Leader, the one and only Kim Jung Il…"

Part IV…

Kim on main screen in tux, holding mike…Waving to camera amidst thunderous applause…

"Hey thanks, thanks very much…And now, as we celebrate the successful conclusion of negotiations which will change the world as we know it, I want to introduce a very special guest…Once a tool of Western imperialism, she was the deluded heroine of America, saving millions only to be enslaved by capitalism…Now the beneficiary of the People's benevolent clemency, she stands before you, wishing only for the chance to make amends and atone for her crimes in the service of the blood-soaked global corporations leeching her people and the world…Our new champion of the People, Ms. Buffy Summers…!"

Buffy , in the same drab jacket and cap, standing near a nervous little kim…Who seemed a bit put out at his presence being ignored..

"Thank you, Glorious One…" she spoke into a microphone handed her by little kim… "May the People's Republic triumph forever under your Divine Guidance…!"

"Right back at you, kid…" Kim beamed… "So, Buffy…How's about joining me and our dear little heir here…" nod to little kim who sighed…

"…In a Christmas song?..."

"Yes, Great One… May the People's Republic triumph forever under your Divine Guidance…!" she removed her jacket and cap, handing them to a young woman…A sequined red gown revealed underneath…

Will stared…

"I can feel it my fingers…I feel it in ma toes…" Kim began singing…Stabbing at air with microphone while contorting hideously…

"The Great Leader's love is all around us…You've just got to let it show…" she sang, a bit woodenly, staring…Reading from a sheet little Kim had handed her…

"


End file.
